Wednesday, November 28, 2007

christmas isn't over 'til you...

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters.Can you read this?'the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

(thanks wbk)

tags: polish joke, really?, what is this 1977 bernie

Monday, October 22, 2007

Back in the chain gang...

What if Shakespeare played in the Mendoza Darts League? "You, mewling, fen-sucked, clay-brained joithead!"

Man #1: "My wife and I never had sex before we were married. How about you?"Man #2: "Dunno. What was her maiden name?"

don't try this at home (but don't let your AO see you play this at work). best time waster since Snood:

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

If you can't say something funny...

then link to something that's killer - - My First Day in Hell:

and, uh, why does a skeleton need a robe?

Son: "Hey, Dad, I got a B in Reading!"
Dad: "You moron - - that's a D."

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I'm not a religious person...

but this is pure inspiration:

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Rough start...

but then we dated (in law school):

Shaggy dog story: As she lay there dozing next to him, a voice inside his head kept saying, "Relax - - you're not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." Then another voice reminded him, "But Howard, you're a veterinarian."

What Fresh Hell Is My Brother Doing? Funny you should ask:

Monday, May 14, 2007

Sunday, May 13, 2007

shout outs...

Harrisburg's homegrown, Jawnboy, asks "Is this thing on?" Yes:

Q: Why don't cannibals eat divorcees? A: Because they're bitter.

Friday, May 11, 2007

unless you you drink alone...

late at night, don't watch this:

Johnny Cash meets Nine Inch Nails. Really.

drinking joke of the day:
Q: Why didn't Hitler drink gin?
A: It made him mean.

you wannna know this...

or not. who "out-Tarantino's" Tarantino? check it out:

joke of the moment:
Q: What's the white stuff in bird poop?
A: Bird poop.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

for openers...

Q: "What's your favorite Grateful Dead tune?" A: "The SHORT one!"

What's your favorite rant? You tell me, in two sentences. And throw in an animal.

Mine? the Fisago's waitress who dosed my cheesteak with windex. Skunked.

Moose's: People who try to use road squirrel instead of fresh squirrel when making squirrel pot pie.