Friday, May 23, 2008

yadda, yadda, yadda...

A patient told his doctor he was full of remorse and guilt ridden because he had sex with his 3rd cousin. The MD said, "If it makes you feel that bad, maybe you should quit counting."

How do you prepare gorilla? Gorillit.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

tighten the borscht belt...

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

Wood you? I wood. The luckiest man: