Quickie

A nervous attendant on a flight announced: "I don't know how this happened, but we have 100 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat, will receive free drinks for the length of the flight." Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 36 dinners available!"


Judge to prostitute, 'So when did you realize you were raped?' Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the check bounced.' ________________________________________________--

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?"
The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me."



I saw a billboard sign that said:
NEED HELP, CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787

Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower...

lego flamethrower: http://markuspuustinen.com/homemadeflamethrower/
where are the directions for this thing???